Let’s take a look at the rules of attraction to effectively get someone’s attention. Here are the 11 best seduction techniques, according to the experts.
Seduction is an interesting subject to which psychology has a lot to contribute. To seduce, you need to master different communication and social skills, because it’s an act that takes place between two people.
Expectations, the image we give, the things we say and the security we show are all key to getting close to that person we’re attracted to.
Seduction techniques and rules
Some experts, like Robert Greene, author of The Art of Seduction, assert that there are various seduction techniques that practically guarantee success in dating (obviously not 100%).
From now on, it’s important to understand that every person is different and, therefore, instead of focusing on aspects that we believe can work for everyone, it’s necessary to concentrate on the needs of the person you wish to seduce.
Seduction is an individual process in which we need to analyze and intervene according to each situation. Each person has a different view of the world and different tastes, and it’s not possible to seduce everyone in the same way. Of course, there are a number of golden rules of seduction, which you can see below.
1. Self-confidence and security
Self-confidence is not in itself a seduction technique, but an attitude, a way of showing yourself to others.
Without self-confidence, it’s impossible for the seduction process to run smoothly. That’s why it’s essential to work on your self-assessment and to face the seduction process with a positive frame of mind. Self-confidence is the key to attracting the person you’re attracted to.
If you think you don’t have a chance with this person, you can start to change your mindset and minimize the situation. As I said, it’s theattitude that counts. So don’t have high expectations (which can be frustrating), but instead relax and don’t idealize the person you’re trying to seduce. Be calm and confident.
2. Be realistic
Being realistic isn’t a technique either, but it is a necessity. Don’t try to use seduction techniques in situations where failure is guaranteed. For example, when the person is in love with their partner and about to get married.
In some situations, seduction techniques won’t help. However, where you do have a chance, following these tips will help you break the ice and maximize your chances of meeting the person you want so badly.
3. Focus on the brain
Many people make it clear that their desire is to be intimate with the other person, and while this is normal, there’s no need to shout it from the rooftops, especially when there’s still no trust between the two.
To have options with this person, it’s always best to stimulate the brain before the genitals, and that means there’s good communication and chemistry. In other words, connect with their interests, their needs and make them feel important.
4. Take your time
Seduction has to do with taking things one step at a time, and what often makes a person want others is anticipation. When you find that person you’re interested in, take your time. Wait a while before approaching, and start by listening rather than talking. Don’t reveal your intention in a few minutes, as this could be unpleasant.
5. Work on your social life
One of the golden rules of attraction is that no matter how hard you pursue someone, it won’t make them fall into your arms. Normally, we’re attracted to people who have a high social value, who love other people. In other words, they have an active social life, because we see part of their value reflected in the opinions of others.
6. Work on yourself
There’s nothing more attractive than someone who’s happy with what they’re doing and proud of themselves. That’s why to be loved by others, you have to feel fulfilled and pursue your dreams. When someone connects with themselves, it’s easy for them to connect with others.
7. Detect the other person’s needs
We often think that dating rules or techniques work for everyone, and that’s not the case. Why is that? Well, because each individual is a world and has his or her needs. Sometimes we may hear the phrase “if you get past him, you’ll see how he looks for you”. In reality, the only thing you can achieve with that is that it moves away from you and the trust between you is lost.
The important thing is for the other person to be good to you, to be good when you’re with them. That’s why it’s better to focus on their needs rather than paying attention to popular beliefs or generalities.
8. Generate positive feelings in the other person
And the explanation for the previous point is that people want to feel good, and we want the people around us to generate positive feelings in us. These are the good times we remember, because unless a person has self-esteem issues, they’ll tend to shun toxic people.
9. Use humor
The best flirting technique is to make yourself laugh. In line with the previous point, there’s nothing that generates more positive feelings than when we laugh with another person and have a good time, because our brains secrete neurochemicals linked to pleasure and well-being: serotonin, endorphins and so on.
A sense of humor is one of the most attractive qualities in people. This is what biologist John Medina says, concluding that we are attracted to people and things that are fun, interesting, intriguing and attract our attention.
10. Create your own brand
American newspaper The Times interviewed Arden Leigh, director of a well-known New York seduction center, and she says that women are more successful when they differentiate themselves from other women. The seduction expert says you have to think like a business, especially when it comes to branding. “Branding yourself is the best way to seduce others and touch their emotional side,” says Leigh.
11. The power of mystery
Think of a mystery book, because you always want to know more and more after every page you read. Well, mystery is one of the most effective weapons of seduction, because it makes one person develop expectations of the other.
That’s why it’s no good giving everything at once when you want to conquer someone, but you have to go step by step, letting time do its work and the other person become interested in you. These expectations and illusions, which have great seductive power, make the other person want to know more and more as they get to know us, and the feeling intensifies over time.
