Flirting with people who are already in a relationship is a behavior that intrigues and raises many questions .This is known as” mate poaching “. Why are some people attracted to potentially complicated and morally ambiguous relationships ? Description.

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We’ve all been attracted to someone who’s already in a relationship. But few dare take the risk of interfering with a couple. Flirting with someone who’s already in a relationship is a behavior that may seem morally reprehensible to many. Today, it’s called “mate poaching”, a nice name for something that’s been around since the dawn of time..

What is certain is that there are specific character traits often shared by those who adopt this attitude. These traits are not universal, but they can provide clues as to the motivations and psychological mechanisms at play.

But just because we explain the mechanisms involved doesn’t mean we should trivialize them. Understanding is not the same as accepting. And understanding does not reflect your opinions, values or beliefs. Let’s make the difference here. With this in mind, today I’d like to offer you a detailed analysis of common characteristics. Maybe some of them will ring a bell!

1. They have excessive self-confidence

People who flirt with people who are already in a relationship often have a very high level of self-confidence. They firmly believe in their ability to seduce and attract attention, even when the object of their desire is already committed elsewhere. This overconfidence can lead them to underestimate the potential complications and repercussions of their actions.

2. They are narcissists

Narcissism is a personality trait frequently observed in those who engage in this type of flirtation. Narcissists constantly seek the attention and admiration of others. They may see the conquest of someone already in a relationship as a challenge that reinforces their ego and sense of superiority.

3. The need to be ” validated ” is very present

People who flirt with taken partners may have an intense need for external validation. They often seek to prove their worth and attractiveness through the attention and affection of those who are already committed, finding in this situation a confirmation of their desirability and personal value.

4. They are impulsive

Impulsivity is a trait characterized by a tendency to act without thinking through the consequences. Impulsive individuals may be more likely to flirt with people already in relationships simply because they don’t take the time to consider the implications of their actions on themselves and others.

5. Empathy really isn’t their strong point

A lack of empathy is often associated with this behavior. People who flirt with taken partners may not care about the other partner’s feelings or the emotional repercussions of their actions. This lack of consideration for others may stem from an inability to put themselves in their shoes, or from deliberate indifference.

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6. Always in search of thrills

For some, flirting with someone already in a relationship can represent a form of thrill-seeking. The danger and the forbidden can add an exciting dimension to their interactions, stimulating their adrenalin and pleasure.

7. They have an attachment problem

Attachment problems can also play a role. Some people who flirt with partners who are already in a relationship may have difficulty establishing stable, healthy relationships. They may be attracted to unattainable relationships as a form of unconscious sabotage of their own deep emotional needs.

8. They show manipulative tendencies

Finally, manipulative tendencies are common among those who flirt with people who are already committed. These individuals may be adept at influencing and manipulating others to get what they want, using flirting as a tool to achieve their personal goals.

Point sunderlined by one study

“There is a link between narcissism, infidelity, noncommittal sex and mate poaching,” reports Kevin Bennett, professor of social and personality psychology, for Psychology Today. TheInternational Sexuality Description Project-2 team, founded by American psychologist David Schmitt, measured the narcissism scores of 30,000 people in over 50 countries in 11 regions of the world. The study highlighted the links between levels of narcissism and sexual and love practices.

People who tend to try to start a relationship are more likely to be narcissistic, to practice infidelity and to have a sociosexual orientation, i.e. to seek relationships without commitment. In addition, they have higher levels of two personality traits: extraversion and openness to experience. “Research suggests that individuals who engage in mate poaching may exhibit traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism and low levels of empathy,” reports David Schmitt. The tendency to practice mate poaching may also stem from a search for excitement, novelty or ego validation.

Who are the victims?

If people who try to seduce those who are in a relationship share certain character traits, are there any similarities in the people who fall victim to them? According to researchers Alastair Davies and Todd Shackelford, some couples are more likely than others to see their relationship jeopardized by mate poachers.

Partners who are perceived as having a high value, whether through their physical appearance, professional success or other socially valued attributes, can be particularly attractive to those who seek to seduce them, even if they are already in a relationship. This can create tension and insecurity within the couple, making these relationships more vulnerable to outside seduction attempts.

Photo Timur Weber

A final word

While flirting with people who are already in a relationship may seem reprehensible, it’s important to understand the underlying motivations and character traits that can lead to this behavior. Overconfidence, narcissism, need for validation, impulsivity, lack of empathy, thrill-seeking, attachment problems and manipulative tendencies are all traits that can explain this complex and often controversial behavior.

Source : pyschologie.com

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