Ever heard of the couch theory ? No ?! And yet, it seems that thanks to it, you could find your ideal partner, the one who shares the same interests as you. Tempting, isn’t it? But does it work ?

Photo Cottonbro Studio

Another crazy idea, you might say. You’ve tried everything, and a sofa isn’t going to change a thing. And yet, it might surprise you. Get ready to say goodbye to all the dating sites you’ve been scouring, and head for Ikea (or GIFI or any other furniture store) instead. Because thanks to these stores, you just might find the love of your life, or at least the love of your life. And no, I’m not talking about a quickie between two products on display (besides, you’d be too good to pull that off without getting kicked out of the store).

The “plus” of this theory is that it works with everyone. From someone you hardly know to your closest friends. While there are some approaches to avoid when it comes to seduction, there are others that seem to work, like the couch theory. More than a seduction technique, it’s a way of finding someone with the same interests as you. Perfect when you want to share your life with someone. Here’s how it works.

The couch theory ? What does it mean?

Imagine that finding your soul mate could be as intuitive as selecting the ideal sofa for your living room. That’s the fascinating analogy proposed by a specialist in the columns of Psychology Today. The “sofa theory”, as it’s known, advocates a resolutely pragmatic approach to the quest for love. It advises us to adopt an intentional strategy, rather than relying on fate or chance, by frequenting places where we are likely to come across individuals who share our passions, principles and aspirations. Whether it’s in trendy cafés, your favorite decorating boutiques, or even online, the idea is to favor spaces where encounters are both relevant and promising.

A theory put forward by an American therapist

In an article for Psychology Today, therapist Elinor Greenberg offers an enlightened perspective on the search for a soulmate. She advises adopting an authentic and realistic approach in the quest for the ideal partner, stressing the importance of self-knowledge. Greenberg recommends taking an honest inventory of what you can bring to a relationship and looking for partners who will value these attributes. This requires introspection to identify one’s strengths and areas for improvement, and being genuine in one’s exchanges. In addition, she emphasizes the importance of immersing yourself in familiar environments where you can meet people with similar interests, thus increasing the chances of finding someone who resonates on the same wavelength.

Photo Andres Ayrton

How to go about it ?

For once, the technique is simple and won’t necessarily cost you money (good news!). If it offers the opportunity to bring romance into your life, above all it can help you meet the right person for the job, without breaking the bank. So, without further ado, here are the essential points and examples to illustrate this approach:

• Don’t let your shynesss top you from looking for a partner

Rule 1: like the story of an attractive, professionally successful 26-year-old client who avoided engaging in conversation for fear of appearing desperate, showing that emotional problems can get in the way of finding a partner. And yet, according to an Ifop study carried out for Cam4, most Parisians have met love in a professional context. To be more precise, 16% of them met their partner at university, 15% at work and 4% at work-related events such as seminars, conferences or trade fairs (hard work). So maybe she’s right up your street. Outside the City of Light, 30% of French people met their partner at work, 19% in their close or more distant circle, 16% in a bar or nightclub, 6% in an open space and 6% at a public or cultural event.

• Be practical and active in your search

Rule 2: go to places frequented by singles, just as you would go to a store to find a sofa. In fact, you’re unlikely to find a sofa in the middle of a hike or on a tennis court. If you like sports, you’ll be involved in mixed sports teams, for example. But if you’re looking for a sofa, head for the furniture store. It makes sense.

• Be realistic about what you have to offer

Rule 3: look for people with whom you have something in common and who will appreciate your qualities, just as you would choose the right sofa for your living room. For example, if you’re a person who’s very involved in your religion, consider meeting someone in groups or activities related to your place of worship.

• Don’t give up until you’ve found what you’re looking for

Rule 4: if you don’t find the right partner in one place, keep looking elsewhere, just as you would when looking for a sofa.

• Play to your strengths

Rule 5: look for places where the qualities you possess are valued. Example: if you’re passionate about helping others, get involved with charities where you might meet potential partners who share your values.

The key to this theory lies in adopting a pragmatic approach, putting fears aside and focusing on concrete, thoughtful actions to find your ideal partner. Like buying a sofa, it’s important to know what you want, where to look, and don’t hesitate to actively engage in the quest for your ideal match.

Photo Cottonbro Studio

Final word

What’s the best way to deal with rejection while remaining positive and motivated in your quest? How, after the first meeting, can we effectively assess long-term compatibility with our potential partner? And, once we’ve found that person, how can the advice of relationship experts help us cultivate a fulfilling relationship? These questions suggest that the Couch Theory is not just a guide to finding a partner, but also a starting point for exploring the complex dynamics of loving relationships. The search for love, like the quest for the perfect sofa, is a journey punctuated by challenges, learning and discovery.

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